Admitted For Observation

Upon arrival at our new state-of-the-art medical facility, the receptionist immediately greeted me and took down a brief explanation for my presence there.
She gave me directions to the maternity ward and requested that the security officer assist and escort me to my destination, which he willingly did, with his full set of exposed pearly whites and small talk.

My short journey up the stairs and down the corridor to the nurses’ station was littered with greetings and conversation with several familiar faces – patients, visitors, and nurses alike. Once my medical records were retrieved and I was examined, I was to select my preference of accommodations.

Medical Benefits card holders who choose a standard room, occupied by four persons, pay nothing. For semi private rooms with two persons or a private room, the difference is $200 plus and $800 plus, respectively.

I eventually settled into a room which I had to share with an Antiguan who was married to a cousin of mine, and a Jamaican who was the wife of my former co-worker’s younger brother. A young unmarried Guyanese later showed up to take the fourth bed.

Although I was only admitted for observation, it is always nice to be around others with different backgrounds and views, and to share in their varied experiences with regard to conception, pregnancy, labour, childbirth and motherhood. These ladies’ stories were colourful indeed. The Jamaican in particular, had nearly 10 different ways to describe the damage inflicted on her birth canal from the delivery of her 8 lb 6 ounce son. Meanwhile, after her 20 hours of labour and the delivery of her 8 lbs 10 ounce son, the Antiguan’s only inquiry was where she could purchase or trade up for a new vagina.

The young Guyanese, who was embarking on this journey for the first time, in her naïve and misplaced bravery, kept commenting that all she wanted was for the real pain to start to come. The rest of us simply laughed. Six hours later, the first bout of “real” contractions started to hit her, and she called for her mother and was begging the nurse to make it stop.

She went on to deliver another 10 hours after that, with much screaming and swearing and promising not to ever get pregnant again. She apparently did not pay attention or maybe even did not attend antenatal classes, did not listen to the nurses in the labour room, was pushing when she shouldn’t, and ultimately got swollen, torn in several places and too many stitches to count. She had to spend two extra days in the hospital because of all that. She vowed never ever to get pregnant ever again!

The rooms were nice and the paint colour and the décor were soothing, though a tad bit sterile. My only disappointments were that the standard rooms apparently only had ceiling fans, which were not very effective in removing the daytime heat, and there was no television in the room, so anyone who wanted to keep abreast of current issues or simply entertain themselves in between contractions or whatever else had to take a walk down the corridor to the waiting room to watch the television there. I had taken along my laptop in the hopes of corresponding with family and friends via the World Wide Web, checking my mail and probably getting a bit of work done or even completing a few unfinished projects. To my dismay, there was no internet access in the standard rooms.

The hardworking nurses were very pleasant and professional, and ensured that I was well taken care of. There were one or two members of the housekeeping staff who were very vocal and obviously extremely disgruntled.

Half-Way There

Hey, have you guys noticed that children tend to start behaving differently when a new baby is on the way, or is it just me? My ‘just turned’ four year old, and my ‘soon to be’ two year old are simply driving me up the wall! Never mind the struggle for attention between the two, the constant fighting and the temper tantrums, but they seem to be acting quite strange of lates! The older one, all of a sudden has been behaving really naughty and the younger, who has been sleeping through the night since she was months old, now wakes up four and five times throughout the night crying for attention. On top of all that, I am now almost six months along, expecting another baby girl, who, by the way seems to only want to break-dance at night when I want to sleep. So you can imagine I am quite worn out by the time the sun comes up!
Three visits ago, during a follow-up ultrasound, it was discovered that I had a ‘vanishing twin’ situation. As you may recall, the scan before showed two sacs. But now, there were remnants of an undeveloped sac and a healthy developing embryo. I was kinda getting used to the idea that I might have been having twins. When the doctor said that there was now only one healthy baby growing, I had mixed emotions but quickly got over it… Afterall, I am lucky to have at least one healthy one developing!
Anyway, the first trimester blues completely disappeared the minute the thirteenth week began. The following week the little critter started to move. It was awesome – to feel your baby move inside you for the first time! And unlike the first pregnancy, I knew exactly what was going on because of having had the experience twice before. Still, it was a sobering experience – A live little human being growing inside. At the very moment it happened, I thought “Wow. A real life baby. God’s creation is so miraculous!”. It was at that point that everything seemed so real!
Now, I am what my Family Nurse Practitioner refer to as having a “proud belly’. That is, showing early and showing high and mighty. I just passed the half-way mark and my stomach looks like I am already nine months! So not only does everybody know that I am very pregnant, but my ‘just turned’ four year old and my ‘soon to be’ two year old want to know why mommy’s belly so big? Well, I explained to them. Yes, I did. There is a baby girl growing inside my tummy and when she is big enough I will go to the hospital for the doctor to cut my belly and take out the baby.
Few weeks before, I just had to know the sex so I asked my doctor to check when he was doing the scheduled ultrasound to make sure the baby was developing fine. Now, whether or not I wanted to know, the little girl was sprawled off with her legs wide open telling the world that hey, I am a girl! The doctor and I had a good laugh!
I had two previous caesarian sections because the first baby girl decided to change position to buttocks first on the exact day she was due. The second baby girl was very troublesome and caused a few complications, preterm labour and all! On top of all that, I suffer from keloids, so that nice neat bikini cut scar from the previous surgeries, started to grow during my pregnancy. In essence, I have a very obvious ‘battle wound’!
With all that said, my girls have seen me naked, and when I mentioned that the doctor will cut my belly to take out their new baby sister, they wanted to know exactly where the doctor will cut. Plus every single day they ask if the doctor is not ready to take out the baby, and my answer is that she is not ready to come out yet.
My husband now, has already accepted the fact that he will be surrounded by all beautiful girls; that he will be protector of all!
And maybe its me, but he seems to be getting on my nerves for no apparent reason! Love him dearly and I know that it is probably the hormones, but, my goodness! I have heard here and there that some pregnant women just don’t even want to be in the presence of the baby’s father, or they cant stand to even look at him, but I brushed off things like that as old wives’ tale. Has anyone had that particular experience?
What was even stranger, though, and I noticed it during the first trimester especially – my two sweet little angels and my loving darling husband – I could not bare to smell, or much less be in the same room with any of them if they even ‘thought’ about sweating, much less any other normal human body odor! Is that crazy or what?
Anyway, I am blissfully enjoying second trimester. I have gained only a total of seven pounds so far throughout my pregnancy and I feel great. At first I was a bit worried because in the previous two pregnancies, by the time I got to five months I has already gained a good 15 to 20lbs. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about. The little ‘exhibitionist’ – with her legs wide open during the ultrasound – was coming along nicely. 7 lbs only. Just fabulous!
The other plus to being pregnant for me is that my skin seems so flawless and glowing!
So, here I am enjoying being treated like a queen everywhere I go by all gentlemen, and especially the dreadlocks who seem to grin from ear to ear and call me blessed because I am carrying life itself inside me. I have dreadlocks too, and I don’t wear make-up, so that excites them a bit more! They call me “Royal”.
These days I like going to the bank, the supermarket, and even to APUA to pay bills. There is a special line for expectant moms and everybody is more courteous than usual! So, apart from a toddler, a pre-schooler and loving husband driving me up the wall, I am just peachy!
Oh, by the way, I am now searching for a meaningful, powerful, positive baby girl names with some Biblical relevance or spiritual meaning. I welcome suggestions!

‘Big Surprise’

While sharing the exciting details of my first pregnancy with you, I was forced to take a break a few weeks ago due to extreme fatigue. As I said in my introduction to “Journey Through Motherhood”, there will always be ups and downs, unbelievable excitement, challenges, achievements and unexpected adventures along the way. And I can tell you that this statement rings true each and every single day.

In addition to my two jobs and my two little girls, the past couple of months have proven to be a tad strenuous. My 20 month old picked up a little flu a few weeks earlier and apart from the daytime when she seems absolutely fine, she kept on coughing and crying on a nightly basis for well over a week. To top it all off…. All she wanted was mommy. The result: mommy did not get much sleep. She got over it but I was left feeling completely drained and void of energy, unable to concentrate, and as tired as I was, unable to fall asleep at night.

When it became unbearable and I was completely unable to function I sought my doctor’s help. After a complete physical, some blood tests, an ultrasound and a little chat, my doctor told me that it seems I may be expecting twins. My eyeballs almost popped out of my head!

My response: “Excuse me. Beg your pardon. What did you just say?”

Never mind that I am apparently pregnant, but twins? This was certainly a surprise.

The doctor repeated herself and pointed to the screen. I was shown two clearly formed gestational sacs. I thought “Wow”. She further explained that she is usually a bit cautious about confirming twins this early as so many different things could happen during the first trimester. This apparently was the reason for the extreme fatigue that had literally crippled me over the past month and a half.

There was nausea, vomiting and a pinched nerve during my first pregnancy. My second one was a breeze until almost the end, in fact, I did not even know I was pregnant until I started eating everything in sight, and my belly started to grow – well into the second trimester. Now this one has been highlighted thus far with extreme fatigue. Wow!

Fraternal Twins…. A surprise indeed!

The one thing I do know for sure now is that each pregnancy is definitely different!

‘ Eating For Two’

The day after my first doctor’s visit confirmed my pregnancy, I went into the “Best of Books’ and purchased the book “What To Expect When You’re Expecting’. I opened an account with www.babycenter.com. I read everything electronic and hardcopy I could find about pregnancy, childbirth and babies.

One of the most important things, in addition to rest and exercise, was proper nutrition. I was taking maternal (prenatal supplement) but was reminded by my doctor to eat lots of fruits, vegetables and to drink lots of water. It was almost a breeze for me to do since I did not smoke, I did not drink alcohol, I was not a fast food junky and I was already in the habit of drinking eight 8 ounce glasses of water per day.

What was interesting though was my overwhelming desire for roast duck in plum sauce… I just wanted it all the time. And what was even stranger, I was suddenly unable to make it through the day without some sardine in soya oil, with toasted wheat bread and fever grass tea for breakfast.

The end of the day was always a treat. My husband would bring me local fruits like guava, tamarind, tangerine, and doungs or pomme surrette. On the weekend he would cut open some coconuts and we would eat the meat after having our fill of the sweet and refreshing coconut water. Yeah… that was the life! This baby was going to be born with muscles and a full set of teeth! LOL

‘The Quickening’

I was about eighteen weeks along in my pregnancy and during my monthly checkup the ultrasound showed my baby as being about 3-4 ounces in weight and approximately 4 ¾ inches long from head to rump. I explained to my doctor that during the past couple of days that I had been experiencing some weird goings-on that felt like about half dozen butterflies having a party in my stomach. He pointed out that I could possibly be experiencing what was referred to as ‘quickening’ or the first recognition of movement by the fetus – showing signs of life. He further explained that as the baby grows and puts on more weight the movements, or what we refer to as kicks, will get stronger and more organized. I was a bit surprised since my pregnancy books said that first time moms don’t really have that experience until around the 29th week or so.

I thought ‘WOW’. There is a little human growing inside of me. At the moment I forgot about all the weight I had gained and the entire pregnancy thing took on an even more intense significance… there was life inside of me. What a Blessing! There was a little boy or girl letting me know that he or she was alive and needed lots of love. It was unbelievable. I was awe-struck for days.

Deep in my ‘mother-to-be’ bliss I wondered how anyone could have the heart to even contemplate abortion.

“Name That Baby”

Almost from the moment I found out I was expecting, I started to think about what name I would give my child, boy or girl. I knew that what ever name I would choose would be powerful, meaningful and would have some sort of biblical relation or significance. I know that everyone is different but I wonder about people who, even after a baby is born, they still don’t have a name for the child. I worry about those who choose names with no particular significance or meaning. Some even go as far as taking parts of each parent’s name to make one name for the child.

I am reminded of Shakespeare’s famous lyrical tale of “Romeo and Juliet’, and the specific scene in which Juliet asked Romeo “What is in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet”. Juliet tells Romeo that a name is an artificial and meaningless thing. Well, I beg to differ. I think that our names are a very big part of our identity and how we want people to perceive us, and more importantly how we perceive ourselves. In the long run, a name can be a deal breaker for some people, especially if there are negative connotations associated with it.

The child has no say in how or why a particular name is selected for him or her, and is therefore at the mercy of the parents. That name is that child’s brand for life. So when parents don’t put enough effort and research into name selection, and simply choose a name because they like the sound of it or for some other arbitrary reason, it is quite worrying – poor kid!

By the end of my first trimester, I had nearly twenty meaningful names for either sex, and I knew that I had two more trimesters in which to narrow it down and choose the best ones for my baby.

‘First Trimester Blues’

Some people breeze through their entire pregnancy without even an iota of discomfort, but the not-so-lucky ones have the ups and downs, while the really unlucky ones have issues from conception to birth and beyond. For me, after the morning sickness had eased up there were just one or two annoying tidbits. At one point I thought about moving into my bathroom permanently since I had to go there so very often. I was told that the increased urge to urinate could be due to an expanding volume of blood circulating in my body, which in turn increases the amount of urine produced. Plus I was in the habit of making sure that I had my eight glasses of water per day so that did not help either.

With the morning sickness gone, I was hungry all the time and, according to my husband, my palate was quite expensive. I seem to have been craving roast duck in plum sauce all the time. To appease me, he made an effort to get it for me a few times, while bringing me home endless supplies of doungs or pomme-surette (small Caribbean fruit), tamarind, tangerines and white guava.

Heartburn was another irritating fact of pregnancy that I had to deal with. This I am told was due to hormonal changes throughout my body. I had to adjust my meal size … instead of having 3 regular meals, I had several small ones. That helped a bit but Tums chewable tablets made me a believer and a lifelong fan!

I was also plagued with unbelievable fatigue. Tired, tired, all the time. My doctor suggested that I stock up on Gatorade and I did. I was extremely exhausted but once again I was told that this was normal and that it was my body’s way of telling me that I needed to rest a bit more. I was further advised to start sleeping on my left side to help relieve pressure on major blood vessels that supply oxygen and nutrients to the fetus. My favorite pregnancy website (babycenter.com) suggested using a body pillow to help to comfortably support my body. It did help!

With the myriad changes taking place, including the weight gain, my mom and one or two other persons started suggesting that I may be pregnant. But I never confirmed or denied their suspicions since my husband and I decided not to share our news until I safely made it through the first trimester. Thankfully, the trimester safely passed and I could not wait to tell the world. That alone made up for all the not so pleasant pregnancy experiences so far, and at that point I almost forgot about the indigestion, the insatiable appetite, the weight gain, the fatigue, the sleep discomforts, and the frequent urination, until I had to rush off to the bathroom one more time!

‘All Day Morning Sickness’

Well, it seems as if the morning sickness began immediately after I started taking the prenatal vitamins. The OBGYN said to expect morning sickness but this was ridiculous. The very next morning, before I could even rollover to get out of bed the nausea began. I think I spent nearly an hour in the bathroom throwing up. And there was nothing to throw up. I had to call the doctor.

That day I never made it to work at all. I laid in bed and made sure the path to the bathroom was completely clear. I had my trusty book “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” and 3 other pregnancy books. By the end of the day I was fully armed with a list of home remedies for morning sickness, some of which included:
• Lots of rest
• Well ventilated room / fresh air
• Avoid strong odors and stuffy rooms, and anything that may trigger your nausea
• Keep crackers and a glass of water near your bed – have some early before rising
• Eat high protein snacks at night before going to bed
• Have mints (preferably ginger) when you start feeling nauseated
• Sip peppermint tea
• Eat smaller more frequent meals
• Avoid sudden movements and changes in position

There were a lot more tips, suggestions and home remedies, but the crackers and ginger thing worked for me.

I realized when my husband came home I felt worse. His usually sweet smelling cologne was suddenly unbearable – the minute he opened the door I had to ask him to undress and wash himself. I have heard all the stories about morning sickness I never expected it to be like this…..It felt as if my entire stomach would come out. It felt like a never-ending morning sickness! Must have been a man who came up with the name “morning sickness’ cause this went on all day and I doubt that any woman who has ever experienced it would have called it that!

‘My First Prenatal Checkup’

I sat on the most comfortable couch in the air-conditioned waiting area, waiting to see the OB/GYN. Anxious and still in a state of disbelief, I read everything in sight… magazines, flyers, brochures, everything that had the words ‘mother’, ‘baby’ or ‘pregnant’ on it. I was even more amazed at the other expecting parents in the room, the looks on their faces, their conversations and their general demeanor. Within minutes, my husband showed up after finally finding a parking spot somewhere in town. We had to wait another good hour since the doctor was called to the hospital for an emergency. Well, I had no intentions of leaving. I had my list of a million and one questions and I wanted to make sure the pregnancy was viable. I waited.

My turn finally came and we went in. After the introductions and detailed discussions regarding my medical history, the doctor offered counseling on what we should expect, what was required, and the do’s and the don’ts. A trans-vaginal ultrasound and the physical exam, added to the blood pregnancy test confirmed that I was indeed expecting and was approximately six weeks along. The doctor concluded that the pregnancy appeared to be viable. I could not help but grin from ear to ear at the sight of the little ‘blimp’ on the screen thumping … the baby’s heartbeat. There was human life growing inside of me.

A few more lab tests were needed. I was advised to take materna (prenatal vitamins) and return in exactly four weeks for a follow-up. My doctor suggested that I visit as many sites on the internet, and read as much as I could. He told me to remember to keep a writing pad handy and jot down any questions I may have for the next visit.

Two hours later, we left the doctors office with our first photo of our unborn child. Wow!

3 HOME PREGNANCY TESTS & 1 LAB TEST

My still fairly new husband sat back on the couch watching television late one afternoon after having his dinner. I sat in the bathroom looking at the clock, waiting with baited breath for another 3 to 5 minutes to pass in order to check the results of the third home pregnancy test. I had been in there for a good half of an hour now. I was ready to start a family but I did not expect that it would actually happen so soon.

As I waited for the results I started to reflect on the preceding two weeks. It had been really busy for me but, come to think of it, my clothes started to fit kinda smug and I was always hungry all the time. My boobs were a little fuller and more tender than usual. Hey! That should have bee the red flag!

Time was up. The third test was as positive as the first two. Yep. Baby onboard!

I sat alone for another fifteen minutes or so, amazed and in shock …. Filled with all sorts of mixed emotions. A million and one things ran through my mind then I calmed down. I never said a word to my husband that night although he was a bit curious about my one 1½ hours stay in the bathroom.

The next morning I went straight to the Medpath Lab to do a blood pregnancy test. I had heard that home pregnancy tests were sometimes unreliable so I wanted to get concrete proof and professional confirmation before I get my husband’s hopes up. Within a couple of hours that confirmation came. I could not wait to get back home to share my news. When I told him, my husband’s eyes lit up, his jaw dropped and his eyebrows almost flew off his face. When he caught himself he said “ I knew it. I knew it. No wonder you have been so miserable lately.” He claimed that he had been craving re herring, which he normally doesn’t eat much of at all, and that all he has been wanting to do is sleep, sleep and sleep some more. We sat for a while, talked about the whole pregnancy thing. We decide to wait a couple of weeks before telling anyone else.

I spent most of the next day trying to get a doctor’s appointment. Dr. Abbott was my regular OB/GYN but according to his secretary, he was booked tight for the next three months. I decided to ask one of my closest friends for suggestions. She was the mother of my 6 month old godson. Dr. Raymond Mansoor was highly recommended.

Success! My appointment was scheduled for the next day.

I spent practically the whole night dreaming about babies, contemplating my journey through motherhood!

Invitation to Club Mom

I have discovered a few things along the way. I have discovered that there are no maps, no rule books and there are no instruction manuals that can adequately prepare you to take on the role of motherhood. Most importantly, I have discovered that there is nothing like a mother’s love and that being a member of Club Mom is a Blessing, and honor and a privilege.

My aim is to share my personal experiences as a mother.

WADADLI MAMA =“Journey Through Motherhood” will give a profound account of the ups and downs, the unbelievable excitement, the challenges, the achievements and the unexpected adventures related to the mystical and fulfilling everyday life of a mom.

Suggestions, constructive criticisms, positive discussions and edifying debates are welcome.